


Blood of the End

by ChocolateWhore



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blue Paladin Allura (Voltron), Character Death, Death, M/M, Red Paladin Keith (Voltron), Road trip gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-06-24 04:58:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15623058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateWhore/pseuds/ChocolateWhore
Summary: Keith wasn't always careless. But one time, just one time, Keith makes a mistake and leaves himself wide open. Now, he's paying the price, and he can't change what he did.





	1. Crimson

**Author's Note:**

> These chapters weren't supposed to be, well, chapters, so they're a lot shorter than what I'd usually post, but I wanted to split them up! So sorry about that!

 

 

 

_Drip._

 

_Drip._

 

_Drip._

 

He pretends he doesn’t hear the blood falling against the ground below them, in the dead silence.

 

    _Drip._

 

_Drip._

 

He closes his eyes and pretends he wasn’t careless.\

 

    He pretends it wasn’t his fault.

 

    He pretends that everything is going to be just fine.

 

    _“I got you buddy!”_

 

He ignores the smile on his face.

 

    _“Thanks, man.”_

 

He ignores the absolute horror, just like he ignored the blood.

 

    _Drip._

 

_Drip._

 

Finally, violet eyes open and lower until he’s staring down at male in his lap, shaking his head roughly, repeating muffled nothings. He can’t think straight; the heart that throbs in his throat seems to fight back his words, his thoughts. His gaze runs over the figure, taking in the damage; the broken chestplate, the blood seeping through it, blood mixing with the sweat and dirt, caking in his hair but beyond that, a bright azure gaze still meets Keith’s. “Lance!” He howls, his agonized voice quaking and shattering the silence in a breathtaking cry. “You absolute idiot!”

 

    “S’not that bad,” Lance slurs below him, a smirk pulling at his lips as his eyes rest on Keith for a long and painful moment before blinking. “I told you….got your back.”

 

    Keith can’t see the extent of his wounds, but he knows they're bad. He can hear it in Lance's voice; the slurring, the strain, and even in his eyes, the _fear._ It's something Lance doesn't want to admit, but he's scared. He's terrified he's going to die and Keith can't even comfort him. Instead, he lowers his head, teeth bared as the tears begin to well in his eyes.

 

_Drip._

 

_Drip._

 

He can't think straight. He can't feel the blood on his hands, anymore. He can't even hear Lance's words. Lance, who is lying in his arms, once again, and yet, trying to comfort Keith. Keith can't understand. He wants to yell at Lance, to go off on him and lecture him, but he doesn't even have the energy. He feels _betrayed_ above all things. “Stop talking,” he growls through his teeth, opening his eyes again to look over Lance's wound. “Just shut up, you idiot. Save your breath.” His violet gaze lands on a deep wound down Lance's side, cut clean through the armor. It's hideous, an almost yellowish tinge around the outside of the jagged cut; a purple glow following in lines around it and going throughout his body. Eyes growing wide, Keith's head whirls around, frantically searching for one of the blades that their attackers used.

 

He wants to pretend he wasn't careless.

 

He wants to pretend Lance is going to be okay.

 

But Keith is a soldier. Keith _knows._

 

_He knows._

 

And that's what hurts him the most.


	2. Blue Beast

_ Sorry, Blue. _

 

He's the only one who goes to see her. No one else does; they all apologize to Red. But Red wasn't Lance's original lion. Lance wasn't Red’s first choice. He was Blue’s. Allura claims she notices a shift in Blue’s behavior. Keith thinks she's just saying that. But he can't help but wonder, on what level do these lions even feel? How deep is their understanding?  Does Blue even understand why he's apologizing? Or why him, specifically? Maybe she doesn't, but Keith doesn't care. He does it anyway. He walks up, placing a hand against the chipped and dented metal paw of the giant cat and keeps his head low. He's quiet for a long time before he can even muster up the will to speak; his words caught in his throat. 

 

_ I'm sorry I failed you. _

 

_ I'm sorry, Blue. _

 

_ I'm sorry. _

 

He doesn't think about the fact he's apologizing to a giant robot lion. He doesn't think about the fact that it probably doesn't even understand. He doesn't think about how he's sure it doesn't even know Lance was ever it's paladin. 

 

_ It's. _

 

Lance would have called it a she. Keith can’t bring himself to. The cat likely only sees Allura as it's paladin.

 

He swears he sees Blue’s eyes glimmer as he walks away.

 

It's probably just a reflection.


	3. Soldiers

They can't form Voltron. They can't fight.  Keith doesn't think about this as they take off the next day. He doesn't look back down to the surface of the planet as they depart. He can’t think about what’s down there, now.

 

He ignores the sting of pain he felt when they each sat behind Red’s controls. He ignores the anger building up in him when they coax him to try. Why him? What made them think that he of all people would want to take over? He ignores how he snapped at Allura. He ignores the pain, the absolute anguish he felt when Red woke to his touch. He ignores the burn of betrayal. The burning sensation and the lump in his throat. 

 

Keith pretends he didn't cry out in agony. That he didn't sit up there with his head low and tears falling down his face. He pretends he didn't punch at the walls inside Red and he ignores how she didn't seem angered, and instead seemed to purr comforting thoughts into his head. Keith thinks he's going crazy.

 

He ignores that he's seen what they can do. He ignores that they didn’t help.

 

Keith spends a long time up there, not wanting to come down and face the team. 

 

_ I'm sorry, Red. I'm sorry. _

 

Red understands. Lance was her paladin. Keith hates how remorse pours through his veins the longer he sits with her. The lion mourns as much as he does. He can't even bring himself to be mad at her. He'd told Red to take care of Lance. They weren't even in their lions; what could she have done? Keith hates the hopeless burning he feels, the endless agony. Red chose him to come back, but now there's no pilot for Black.  Every little fiber in his body wants to be mad at Lance. He wants to storm out of Red and pin him against the closest object and go off on him. He wants to spit every fiery word into his face and makes sure Lance understands everything he says. He wants to remind Lance of everything, of every promise they made. He wants to see that obnoxious smirk again and Lance putting his hands up in the air in surrender. But he wouldn’t apologize.

 

_ We're soldiers, man. I always have your back. Just like you have mine. _

 

That smirk. 

 

_ Looks like we’re bonding all over again, right, Mullet? _

 

Keith's anger swells and he whirls, driving his fist into the nearest object. Red only purrs.

 

He hates that Cuban boy.


	4. Pattern of the Red

Keith doesn't face the team; he's not up for another lecture. Instead, he remains in Red, locking everyone else out. He never wanted to lead Voltron, anyways, but he doesn't want to take Red from Lance. He knows what Shiro will have to say. He’ll say something along the lines of- 

 

_ Hey, man. Listen. _

 

He squeezes his eyes shut, curling further against Red’s seat, teeth bared together. He hates the tears that threaten to fall and tries to swallow the lump in his throat.

 

_ The Black lion wouldn't choose anybody it didn't think was worthy to lead Voltron. _

 

He's shaking now; his fingers curled into fists as he shakes his head. It's different. It's different and he has to remember that.

 

_ I respect its choice. And you should, too. _

 

Keith doesn't hesitate to stand, hurling the closest thing to him across the inside of Red with a shout. The object slams against metal and clatters to the floor with a loud clang. It's different, now. He's not rejecting Black’s choice to lead the team, he's rejecting Red’s offer to take her back from Lance. He loved piloting Red, he truly did, and even now, being head of Voltron seemed like a great deal, and possible mistake. He couldn't be the leader; he still wasn't ready. But Lance was. God, Lance had wanted that position more than anything. But he can’t take her back. Not after-

 

His gaze flicks to the object, ignoring the rush of thoughts that flood his mind and threaten to make him cave. He isn't going to let them ruin him like that. Lance would expect more of him. 

 

_ I respect its decision. You should, too. _

 

He crosses over to the object, crouching down beside it with a scoff once he sees it. Keith didn't even know he still had it. A rock. Lance's dumb rock he found on some planet, somewhere when he was off with Hunk. He claimed he'd grabbed a ‘cool rock’ for everyone. Pidge claimed to Keith she never got one. Allura said the same. Keith was the only one. He never asked why.

 

Now he knows he needs to follow that pattern, now. 


	5. Corpse

They're leaving, and Black follows. Black has a new paladin, but Keith doesn't ask who. He doesn't want to know, and nobody tells him. He doesn't look back down at the planet as they depart. He finds it easier to pretend that Lance isn't still down there. He pretends that he didn't fail him. If Keith closes his eyes, he thinks that he can imagine he's piloting Black, instead. Red doesn't care. She senses his pain, and knows why he wants to imagine this. He knows if he's still in Black, then Lance is still in Red. He can at least pretend. And he likes to.

 

Keith hates getting lost in thought, but he can't help it. They're flying endlessly, and everyone has someone flying with them. Keith doesn't. He doesn't let anyone fly with him. He has enough. A dead weight pulling at his gaze from the corner of his eyes. Both a sight for sore eyes and an absolute ache in his chest that he can't bear the sight of. Yet he does. His violet gaze wanders to the corner of the small area and there on the floor, he sees it. Keith knew he'd regret grabbing it. But at the same time, he knew he needed to. 

 

Krolia had talked him into it. Lance's bayard and helmet. She told him that his family deserved something of him, even if they couldn't transport the body back to Earth. He hoped she knew that he was selfish when it came to some things. Lance's family would never lay eyes on his helmet or bayard. Keith knows he could never part with them. The blood stained surface of the helmet and scuffed bayard is all Keith has left of Lance, and he can't let them go. He said goodbye once, and he wasn't going to say it again.

 

Keith's a soldier. He knows better. He knows that they deserve them, and that it's the right thing; handing what's left of Lance over, but he also knows something they don't. A painful truth he's only admitted out loud, once.

 

He loved Lance. And they'd have to tear what's left of him from Keith's cold, dead corpse.


	6. Black Paladin

“Keith? Buddy? You good?”

 

Keith's eyes snap open as the comms crackle in his ears and he sighs, blinking hard. For a minute, he could've sworn it sounded like-

 

“Yeah,” he mutters back, dryly. He doesn't need and idle chat. They have a mission. A destination and he'd rather not spend the time chatting it up with Lance's best friend. In fact, Keith despises the idea of even having a conversation with anyone in general. A thought crosses his mind to turn the comms off. “I'm perfectly fine, Hunk. Go back to flying your own lion and quit worrying about me.”

 

Words crackle through his comms some more. Keith ignores them. He doesn't want to talk to them. Krolia tries, now, but he gives in and shuts his comms off. He really doesn’t want to talk to them. There’s nothing they can say that he hasn’t already heard. The ‘I’m sorry’s’ and the pitiful looks. He hates it. Keith hates their pity because he isn’t the only one who lost something. Pidge and Hunk lost their best friend. Allura lost her sharpshooter. And Voltron lost its best paladin. At least, in Keith’s eyes. 

_ Hey, buddy. Listen, you have a team to lead. _

_ You have a lion that you need to pilot. _

Keith thinks he’s officially going insane. He hates hearing that voice. It makes him sick, but he hears it anyway. It won’t go away and it nags at him, repeatedly. He hates it. He can’t shut it up; he can’t just turn his brain off. Sometimes, he wishes he could. Keith’s driven insane. He thinks he’s completely losing it. But he can’t help it.

_ We’re soldiers. You’d do the same for me. _

Lance would have a point; Keith knows this. Lance would have been better to pilot Black. Maybe then he’d still be here. 

_ Look, man. I know I wasn’t meant to lead the team. Shiro wanted you to.  _

Keith can’t shake it. He hates it. He hates the view of the broken armor, cracked and set in the corner of Red. He hates it, and he thinks it’s starting to get to him.


	7. The Voice in His Head

Kosmo is beside him, now, seemingly bored of Pidge talking to her trash dummies and video games. Keith only spares him a glance or two, though he leaves his head rested in his lap. Keith leaves it there, occasionally making a move to run a hand over the wolf’s head. 

 

His comms are back on, but no one attempts to contact him, anymore. They all know by this point that he won’t answer. He’s almost a lost cause. His blank stares, clouded eyes, dry comments...it almost seems as though everyone else is starting to think he’s lost it, too. That it hadn’t just been Lance that had been lost in that battle, but Keith as well. 

 

What had they expected? 

 

_ Oh, c’mon. What’s with the long face, samurai? _

 

Keith tightens his grip on Red’s controls, lowering his head once again. Kosmo lifts his own, giving the male a comforting lick, followed by a small whine. He knew it, too.

 

_ I told you I’d step away from the team. You always did fly better in Red, you know. Even for a team leader.  _

 

_ She always did like you better, anyways. _

 

Keith grinds his teeth, eyes closed against the voice in his head. If only they’d gotten there sooner. If only he hadn’t insisted that he and Lance would be fine on their own. If only he had stayed by his side. 

 

_ If only. _

 

But he hadn’t, and now he’s alone. He couldn’t take a single thing back, and now he’s stuck with the consequences. Red understands, though. She understands and mourns with him, despite everything. Keith only wonders if Blue’s hurting, too.

 

_ Come on, Mullet. The team didn’t need me, anymore. But they still need you. _

 

“Shut up, Lance,” Keith hisses through his teeth, lifting his head. “You’ve done enough.” He squeezes his eyes shut to lock in the tears that fall anyways, much to his dismay. “Just do me this one last thing. Just shut up for once. Please.”

 

He knows he can’t get the voice out of his head, and he knows he can’t get it to stop. Funny, he always thought Lance would be the one to go crazy first. It looks like Lance got the easy way out. Keith’s the one snapping, first, and he can't get control of it.  



	8. Bye-Bye Blue

Keith still keeps to himself, but everyone knows. They all understand and they don’t ask. He’s burning with guilt and regret every time his eyes flick over to the shattered helmet and broken bayard. He sees the scene play over and over again in his mind. He sees Lance’s blood on his hands. The pain in his eyes and he wants to scream.

 

He wants to scream at himself for being careless.

 

He wants to scream at Lance for taking the blade meant for him.

 

He wants to scream at Red for not helping.

 

But he can’t, because he knows it isn’t Red’s fault. He wants to apologize over and over. He knows he doesn’t deserve to pilot her, anymore. Lance is dead because of him. He failed her. Her paladin is dead, now and he can’t change that. 

 

Keith think back to the way he watched the color in Lance’s eyes fade. He thinks back to the words that died on his lips along with Lance. He thinks of all he wanted to say. But he didn’t, and he knows now he never will. 

 

Days have gone by, and he’s still hardly uttered a word to any of the other paladins. Keith knows they’re worried, and he knows they have every reason to be. But they’re fighting a war, they shouldn’t worry about him. But they do, and he comes to realize soon that his distance puts them all at risk, not just himself.

 

_ “Keith!”  _ He hears Hunk’s frantic voice crackle through his comms.  _ “On your left, watch it!” _

 

Keith snaps from his daze, blinking his violet eyes in confusion for a moment, only to be knocked from his seat as Red takes a massive hit to her left shoulder, throwing her through into Pidge and her lion who were swerving to back Keith up. A dead silence hangs in the air, his comms crackling some more as he drags himself into his seat. Keith shakes off the impact, jerking Red’s controls to turn her to face a fleet of incoming Galran ships. He take one look and and grinds his teeth at the sight. 

 

_ “Keith? Keith, come in! Wake up!” _

 

He sees the blood on his hands, hears the screams and sees that smug smirk. He feels the dead weight in his arms, sees his pale skin and feels his cold flesh against his hands. He can’t breathe, he can’t move. He couldn’t even defend Lance when he needed him to. He can’t fly Red, he can’t even call himself a paladin.

 

_ “Keith, come on! We can’t hold them off!” _

 

He feels his throat constrict, his eyes locked on a pair of bright blue eyes, written in pain and a broken smile stares back at him. There’s a pained expression over the mask of stoic bravery that he’s supposed to be seeing. Lance was never good at hiding his feelings and this time, Keith can’t tear his gaze away.

 

_ “Someone watch Keith! They’re getting closer!” _

  
  
  


He tried to fight. He tried to protect Lance. He tried to fight back. He turned his back on Lance. He heard Lance call for backup. He tried to stop them, he tried to help. His vision blurred; he ignored the blood. He ignored the agony. He ignored his rage. Where was Voltron? Where was the team? Why weren’t they there in time?

 

_ “We need to form Voltron! Where is Keith!?” _

 

Keith can’t fight. He’ll turn his back on them, just like he had back then. He’ll get reckless, he’ll stop paying attention. He’ll lose control again, he’ll go numb. He won’t hear them cry for help, he’ll let them take the hit for him, just like then. They’ll all die. Just like Lance. Just like-

 

_ Keith, my man. Wake up, tough guy.  _

 

He can’t see the pained expression, anymore. There’s a set of blue eyes watching him, narrowed in all seriousness. 

 

_ You can’t let the team suffer because of me. You need to stop thinking of yourself for once and pull yourself together. They’re fine without me. There’s only five lions, after all. Five paladins. They’ll make do without me. You, they can’t replace.  _

 

_ They need you. Now come on, you have a lion to fly. Fly her like you mean it. _

_ Give ‘em hell, team leader! _

 

Keith takes a shaking breath, jerking at Red’s controls and maneuvering her through a line of heavy fire before skidding to a short stop to assess the damage of the team and the fleet. “We aren’t going to have time to form Voltron. We’ll need to attack and evade, you guys got that? Pidge, Hunk, you two take the left half of the fleet. It isn’t as packed as the right. Take them out. Hunk, watch Pidge’s back,” Keith barks at them, yanking at Red’s controls again and tearing out of the way as the fleet starts firing again.

 

The others evade as well, firing back at the dense fleet. “Allura, you and I will take on the right. Got it? Everyone, try and draw their fire. We want their attention on us. Black, you take on the battle ship in the center. Everyone, watch each other’s backs.”

 

_ “Copy that.”  _

 

Keith pulls Red out of another line of fire, spiraling around the beams that fire from the attacking fleet before he pulls up, positioning himself on Allura’s inside to keep Red and himself between Blue and the fleet for a moment before he jerks, pulling Red back to aim a line of fire at the ships before them, drawing their fire from Allura and Blue as they swerve around, disappearing behind several of the ships.

 

Keith’s violet eyes watch them before pulling at the controls and backing Red further from the fleet’s rays and positioning her to rain another heavy line of fire at the ships. Red trembles, spiraling through the air as she takes a hit to the flank and Keith growls, rightening their position yet again to fire back at the ship. There’s a spark of red and an explosion rings out, leaving nothing but debris behind where the ship had once been. He smirks to himself before angling his lion down towards the fleet to meet up with Allura and Blue, who are under heavy fire.

 

Red takes another hit, and he braces himself against the line of fire that beats against her flank, knocking them back once again. She trembles under each hit until her controls flicker, threatening to give under the blasts. 

 

_ “Keith! Please, I need backup down here!” _

 

“I can’t get to you!” Keith shouts back, jerking hard at Red’s controls, trying desperately to get her out of the line of fire. “I’m trapped! Where are Hunk and Pidge?”

 

_ “We’re here!”  _ Pidge’s voice answers, an explosion sounding through her end. _ “Just finishing up on our end! Green took a bad hit, but we’re okay. Hunk took most of the damage.” _

 

_ “Yeah, I’m on my way over,”  _ Hunk interjected. 

 

“Alright,” Keith responded, once again working to avoid being blasted by another laser from the fleet. “Pidge, keep your distance for now. Hunk, go in and help Allura! Where’s Black?”

 

Another flash of white crosses Keith’s vision and he squeezes his eyes shut as another explosion rings out, tossing Red aside with its impact. Red shakes, spiraling to the side before knocking into a large piece of metal and everything goes dead silent.

Keith doesn’t know how much time passes before his eyes open again, seeing that Red’s dash has gone dark. “Paladins?” He croaks after a moment, blinking harshly in attempt to regain full control of his vision again. Spots still dot at the edges of his vision, though he pushes them out of his mind. “Pidge? Allura? Hunk?” Keith reaches out with a weak hand, grabbing the controls in attempt to wake the lion up. “Guys?”

 

Outside the window of Red, he sees the four others spread out, none of which working. He blinks again, slowly, finding it harder and harder to keep them open. “Paladins….?” Keith squeezes his eyes shut, his body trembling. He sees the blood….the tears...the pain…. “I’m sorry, guys,” he hisses into his comms, blinking once again, slower this time before closing his eyes. “Sorry.”

 

_ “Wicked action, samurai,” a smug face blurts with a cocky grin, and Keith blinks his eyes open, seeing a paladin of blue standing before him, arms crossed. “See? What did I tell ya? The team needed you, not me.” His face falls slightly, brows pinching together as he lowers himself in front of Keith’s seat, looking up at him. “Red needed you, too. No one can fly her the way you can. After all, Voltron needs its best pilots out there.” _

 

_ “Lance, I-”  _

 

_ Lance gives Keith a reassuring smile, resting his hand on the paladin’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about me! I got to die saving the best damn samurai I know, and the head of the greatest defender in the universe.” He sighs quietly, lowering his blue eyes slightly. “I’m glad I was even a part of it, even if it wasn’t all the way to the end.” _

_ “Lance, no, there’s something I need to tell you-” Keith tries desperately, looking at Lance, reaching out to him. He needs to know he’s there. He needs to be sure that Lance knows. He breaks himself off, hanging his head. “I’m sorry, Lance. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve saved you. I should’ve-” _

 

_ “Look, man.” Lance’s heavy voice draws Keith’s attention, blinking the tears from his _

_ eyes to meet his gaze. “We’re at war. I didn’t join the Galaxy Garrison thinking I wouldn’t end up hurt, and I didn’t join Voltron thinking that death was never possibility. I knew from the start that sacrifices would be made. I just hoped that...one day I could make it back with you guys. That we could all make it back to Earth, together.” _

__

__ _ Keith gives in, losing the fight with the tears that spill from his eyes, splashing onto his cheeks as he shakes his head, roughly. “You can’t stay here,” Lance continues, giving Keith’s shoulder a soft squeeze. “You have to get back to the team.” _

__

__ _ “There’s still one last thing I need to tell you-” _

 

__ _ “It can wait,” Lance assures him, giving the male a cocky smile. “I have a feeling I know what it is. I’ll see you around, team leader.” The blue paladin gives the male a playful salute as black edges Keith’s vision once again, pulling him into a dark world. _

 

___________________________

 

Keith sits on the ground of some dusty planet that he once thought he knew. He’d never seen himself having a place there, before, and he feels even less at home now than ever before. He finds himself facing Red’s giant, metal paws and a small hole dug out before them. Grinding his teeth, the red paladin stands, looking down at the items clutched in his hands. A shattered blue helmet and a broken blue bayard. “You told me the team needed me,” Keith sighs quietly as he kneels down next to the hole, dropping the bayard and the helmet inside. “And I can’t be there for them if you’re still holding me back.”

 

He turns his head to the grey skies that linger above, and he’s never felt so cold and so alone. “You told me that what I had to say could wait. Truth is, I thought the same thing. I kept telling myself to wait for the right time. But I never did get my chance.” His cold gaze falls once again as he pushes the dirt over what remains of his best friend. He no longer tries to fight the tears that come.

 

“So, I’m saying it now. I love you, Lance. And I regret not telling you sooner.” Biting his lip, Keith forces himself to an unsteady pair of legs, keeping his eyes on the dirt below. “I didn’t tell you this then but, thank you. For what you did. I’ll see you around, Sharpshooter.” He blinks, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment before turning away. “Goodbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, the rest of the team are not dead. Voltron survived, though I never did make mention of it. Krolia went on to become the black paladin instead of Keith. Yes, Keith did actually talk to Lance in the end and yes, Lance finally helped him move on. No, Keith never heard from Lance again after that.


End file.
